


Redemption

by NellaAslanbey



Category: Hercai (TV 2019)
Genre: ReyMir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellaAslanbey/pseuds/NellaAslanbey
Summary: Here it is. My first Hercai fanfiction and I'm soo nervous.First of all I want to thank Diana. She gave me the idea and she also was the one who read it first. Thank you for encourage me to post it my Dear and thank you for the talks.I also want to thank my #Hercai people for having my back and understand me. Even when I get hate from other people in the fandom I know there are people who understand me..I love you guys. <3
Relationships: Reyyan & Miran
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Redemption

**„I live a double life, forever walking two paths; this one and the one I could not take.“ – Ranata Suzuki**

\----

It hurts, it hurts so much that I can't think about anything else. For a week I have been walking through everyday life numb, living a life that does not belong to me. Exactly one week ago my world not only went upside down, but it exploded and turned to ashes. Everything I had believed in, everything I had lived for, turned out to be a huge lie of the woman who raised me and whom I had considered my grandmother all my life.  
But Azize is not my grandmother, Gönül is not my sister and neither is Elif and I am not Aslanbey. I lived a lie for thirty years and now that that lie is out, I don't know what to do. 

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The cold air fills my lungs, burns in my chest and shows me that I am still alive although I feel dead. I look at the swing beside me. This is where it all began and where it will end. The weapon lies heavy in my hand, the metal is cold. The solution to all my problems, the end of all the pain that takes my breath away, is within reach, but something makes me hesitate. Someone. Reyyan.  
Her beautiful face is what I see when I close my eyes, her voice echoes in my head like my very own prayer but not even her loving words can extinguish the fire inside of me. I burn from the inside because of a mistake that is not mine. I wanted to take revenge on a man whose only sin is that he loved my mother and that he is my father.  
This knowledge gives me no peace, robs me of sleep at night and during the day it is the only thought in my head.  
Because of a lie I had caused so much pain to so many people...how can I live on, fight on? 

A man who does not know who he is is a man who cannot be happy.

How can I be a good husband to Reyyan when self-hate is eating me up inside? How can I be worthy of her? She deserves a happy life, a man who is a good husband to her and will be a good father to her children and that cannot be me.

A man who never had a father himself cannot be a good father. 

After everything that I have done to her, I can't do that to her too.  
I close my eyes and tears roll down my cheeks. Slowly I raise my hand with the gun and take the safety off. My hand is shaking so much that I have to stabilize it with the other one. I am not afraid of death, it only marks a new beginning, no I tremble with rage, with sadness. Azize has not only stolen a happy childhood and a family from me, but a whole life with the woman I love.

"Miran!"

There. There she is. I open my eyes again. The voice I could listen to forever, the voice that is the most beautiful melody on earth for me. Reyyan's voice. I know that I am hallucinating because she is with Gül and I told Haji not to bring her here under any circumstances, but it doesn't matter. It is good that I am hallucinating, it is good that the last thing I hear is her voice.  
I'm looking at the sky. Dark clouds have come up, the wind is so strong that the swing next to me swings slightly back and forth. I take a breath, ready to do the thing I came here to do, knowing that I'm not just doing it for me. I do it for Reyyan too, to redeem her from me and my damaged existence, from Azize, so she can be happy. Like she deserves. 

With my finger on the trigger, I smile. One day I will see her again, I will hug her again, I will see her beautiful smile and the brown eyes, I will breathe her scent but until then I will enable her a life full of happiness and love.  
Now or never Miran. 

"Miran!"  
"Reyyan."

I pull the trigger and the last thing I hear is her.

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is. My first Hercai fanfiction and I'm soo nervous.  
> First of all I want to thank Diana. She gave me the idea and she also was the one who read it first. Thank you for encourage me to post it my Dear and thank you for the talks. 
> 
> I also want to thank my #Hercai people for having my back and understand me. Even when I get hate from other people in the fandom I know there are people who understand me..
> 
> I love you guys. <3


End file.
